Thursday, January 26, 2012
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
"I am just now learning to live in freedom toward who I am. I am full of inconsistencies and skewed perspectives and weird quirks that embarrass me and fears that drive me and baggage that weighs me down. But I want to love God. I am not overwhelmed by my humanness because I believe that God is bigger than my humanness, and big enough in fact to not only tolerate my humanness but USE my messy quirky fearful angsty cussing humanness. God doesn't call us into an awareness of Himself to love Him so that He can tolerate us in our messiness for the rest of our earthly lives, waiting it out for us to die so He can rescue our spirits up to eternal delight. He calls us into an awareness of Himself because He loves us. As we are, He loves us. He doesn't love us for who we will eventually be, He loves us for who we are. Now. Before. Always."
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
This morning as I was walking to meet up with a friend for breakfast, I experienced a small miracle. A neighbor of mine pulled up in her car and offered me a ride to class. I briefly weighed the possibility that this woman was going to kidnap me, but dismissed it with the assurance that I could probably outrun her if I needed to. I climbed into the car and was surprised at how easy it was to engage in small talk with this woman I had never met. We talked about the street we lived on, and the house I was living in (her best friend had lived there for several years some time ago and had absolutely loved it). We talked about my landlord and how lucky I was to have such a caring and understanding landlord. The only “awkward silence” moment came as we were pulling up to campus and sort of figuring out where she would drop me off. We said our goodbyes, and she pulled away as I walked up toward the dining commons. (I didn’t really find it necessary to correct her in her assumption that I was on my way to class. I was on my way to class. Eventually.)
This was a miracle for me in a few ways. One, it reassured me that there are some kind people out there who genuinely do just want to help you along as you try to get to wherever it is you’re going. She had no obligation to me, but she still offered a ride to me (and didn’t kidnap me). It also assured me that I can function as an adult in the adult world of social interactions. I’m not as painfully awkward as I think I am, and I am fully capable of engaging in 5 minutes of small talk with a perfect stranger. So there. I also was reminded of how to accept and benefit from random acts of kindness. So often I try to be the one who is in control and who is responsible for taking care of others, and it was refreshing to be reminded that it’s okay to receive blessings. Sure, I could have walked the whole way to breakfast by myself, and it probably would have given me a lot of time for reflection on my mental and emotional state of being. But allowing myself to be carried part of the way (metaphorically and physically) was refreshing and a humbling reminder that I am not called to do this alone.
I’m probably mapping way too much of my life onto a brief encounter with a stranger. Oh well. At it’s bare minimum, I was offered a ride to class by a lady who lives on my street. That’s pretty sweet.